What Would Happen if Kids Weren't Idiots
Memorable movies would change drastically if the kids in them weren't friggin idiots. Here are some examples:
Sandlot (1993): In the movie... they build elaborate mechanisms and concoct hairbrained schemes to get the ball back. If there weren't idiots... they'd knock on the front door and get the ball back. MOVIE OVER.
Goonies (1992): In the movie... they try and find buried treasure to save their town. If they weren't idiots... they wold have accepted their fates and glided nicely into a maladjusted adolescence. MOVIE OVER.
E.T. (1982): In the movie... the kid meets a friggin alien. If they weren't idiots... they would've realized that no matter how nice he was, ET was getting down to business, and his business was anal-probing. Lead him into the wood chipper. MOVIE OVER.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone (2001): In the movie... they are wizards. If they weren't idiots... they'd grow the eff up and realize the only wizards that exist are the 43 year old Dungeons & Dragons wizards/virgins living in their mother's basement eating KFC sadness bowls. MOVIE OVER.
HOWEVER... there is one exception to all of this.
Big (1988): In the movie... the kid becomes an adult overnight. If he wasn't an idiot... he wasn't. Gets a job at a toy company, buys ridiculous shit, gets laid. Well played. MOVIE SUCCESS.
Sandlot (1993): In the movie... they build elaborate mechanisms and concoct hairbrained schemes to get the ball back. If there weren't idiots... they'd knock on the front door and get the ball back. MOVIE OVER.
Goonies (1992): In the movie... they try and find buried treasure to save their town. If they weren't idiots... they wold have accepted their fates and glided nicely into a maladjusted adolescence. MOVIE OVER.
E.T. (1982): In the movie... the kid meets a friggin alien. If they weren't idiots... they would've realized that no matter how nice he was, ET was getting down to business, and his business was anal-probing. Lead him into the wood chipper. MOVIE OVER.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone (2001): In the movie... they are wizards. If they weren't idiots... they'd grow the eff up and realize the only wizards that exist are the 43 year old Dungeons & Dragons wizards/virgins living in their mother's basement eating KFC sadness bowls. MOVIE OVER.
HOWEVER... there is one exception to all of this.
Big (1988): In the movie... the kid becomes an adult overnight. If he wasn't an idiot... he wasn't. Gets a job at a toy company, buys ridiculous shit, gets laid. Well played. MOVIE SUCCESS.
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